


Champagne Problems

by Gleaminginthespotlight



Series: Evermore Trials [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Champagne Problems, F/M, Failed Proposal, Sad at First, story told through memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleaminginthespotlight/pseuds/Gleaminginthespotlight
Summary: He propped himself up with an elbow and shrugged "my younger brother is getting married.  And with their wedding. My parents asked if we were thinking about settling down. I told them we weren't." there wasn't 'at least for now' attached which made her feel safer, more connected. "I told her that we don't need to be married to have kids if she was worried about that. That we didn't need to be connected forever through rings." He finished and she nodded. He understood her so well. Even when they butted heads during work.  All of it just made her feel safe. Made the silly little butterflies that often came alive burst through the room. She was so used to silently walking alone back to the car. With him though — he sang her favorite songs with her and held her hand. She felt like the luckiest alive.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia, Penelope Garcia & OC
Series: Evermore Trials [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105850
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Champagne Problems

There is something said about people who spend their entire lives wandering, as if they are ghosts longing for their final resting place. In a lot of places in life there are chances where a speech has been prepared. But instead you find yourself speechless. A joke is made amidst a silent room and you wonder if the joke is something that you wonder ‘is this about me?’ and then other times in your life you're not left crestfallen. You're able to figure out exactly where you need to be. The place in the world where you belong can be found due to scents from candles, familiar sounds bringing you back to a landing point of safety. A lot of things lead her to where she was at this moment. A lot of wrong turns and stranded destinations. It took a lot of times where she met the wrong person, or the right person at the wrong time. She thought after years of making these mistakes she would have learned by now. Silly Girl though, she didn't. Shooting up from a dream she looked at the clock beside her. The numbers blaring a bright red 4:08 am. She sighed, wrapping her robe around her shoulders as the bed creaked lightly fading into the distance the more and more she walked into the kitchen. 

She had a lot on her mind as of recently, things that made her wonder if those demons that roared through her head were part of the reason she found herself feeling like she was fucked in the head. She knew she wasn't, but there was so much in her that felt like she needed to stop holding it in. letters to her past self that included “this isn’t my fault.” when she was younger telling others she didn't want to get married made her get laughed at. And being in the relationship she currently had her changing her mind in the slightest way. Not that she would ever tell him. He didn't need to know yet. They hadn’t had that conversation yet because he respected her opinion and didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Grabbing a cup from the cupboard she looked at the different photos that sat on the counter and the walls. This place really was feeling more and more like home for who she was becoming. She loved the way the throw blankets were tossed around the couch, the way the pillows were piled up higher and higher. She loved the way that the coasters for cups were gently placed and the rings of water were proving that it was feeling a little better. But there were still so many doubts she had. Different things she wanted to say and express. She didn't know why though she just couldn't get them out. 

**_“You didn't give me a warning sign!”_ **

**_“I gave you so many signs!”_ **

She started the water in the kettle as she turned it ready to go. Perching herself on her countertop she examined the small kitchen, each little thing was core to who she was. From the plants that gently found themselves on the counter to the calendar they got as a gag gift from Emily of dogs in bikinis. It had been a housewarming gift, and somehow it made her be filled with dread for the end of the year because she knew it meant that silly little staple would be gone. The November wind brought a chill to the home when she noted they really needed to get their heater fixed. But in the apartment it smelt like aftershave and pumpkin spice. Two things that blended together in the most beautiful way. 

Luke had always been a romantic, on their first dance he took her dancing. Her fondest memory of that night had been when he went for a dip during a slow dance and they both ended up on the floor when he lost his balance. She hadn’t found herself laughing that hard in the longest time so it truly felt nice to be able to. He laughed as he pulled you up before dusting himself off and standing up. Getting right back to dancing. It was as if he wasn't even phased by all of it. His confidence was incredible and definitely made up for the things you lacked. But he was helping you get better at them. It just was taking its time. Which with him you were okay with the wait for right now. Because in your mind you had all the time in the world. 

**_“You left me out there standing!”_ **

She remembered attending cases with the team. She always took in these cases far too deep. Worried about everything. Being too professional, not professional enough. She was worried about not knowing how to help someone. And all of it made her emotions cave in far too deep. 

She would sit on the jet on the way back alone. Because she was afraid nobody would want to listen to the words that came out of her mouth. She felt as if she was a lost cause, her emotions too far deep to be rescued. But even before the two of them were dating, he approached her. Sat down next to her and asked her how she was doing. "You know...it's okay to feel emotions. It doesn't make you weak." He offered and she rolled her eyes. Of course he was trying to comfort her. 

"That's a lot coming from you. Mr superboy." She replied back, to be honest he always seemed unbreakable, like absolutely nothing could stop him from what he was doing. She wished she could be that unbreakable. Instead though she found herself fragile. Like glass tempted to break at any moment. He rose a brow in response

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're so strong. I've never seen you cry…"

He offered a dark chuckle in response. "I've cried my fair share. I just think it's a little better to not do so in front of a team." She looked at him. She wanted to hear the stories of the things that would make him cry. So she knew what to avoid. She wanted to hear the stories of tear filled days and nights where things felt like they'd never get better. But they did. She learned about who he was and who he was going to continue to be. He offered her a tissue and kept his word of if she ever needed someone he would be that person. 

He didn't leave her out there standing...

**_“They thought you would have been a lovely bride.”_ **

"You know I'd never force you to get married to me." He said one day out of the blue as they were laying in bed. She was flipping through a book and he was flipping through his phone. It took her a moment to catch up to what was happening as she rose a blonde brow. They hadn't even discussed the topic before. Neither of them were the marriage type. The ones who wanted to settle down, because maybe they were part of the pack of wolves who refused to settle down.

"I know...what brought this up…?" She asked admittedly, though a bit curious. There was something by the way he looked at her. The browns of his eyes and constellation like freckles that lined his cheeks made her fall in love even more. She always looked for a story in those bright eyes. They told so many and she wondered about what this man had seen. If he was forced to make the change from a boy into a man at an early age just as she was from girl to woman. 

He propped himself up with an elbow and shrugged "my younger brother is getting married. And with their wedding. My parents asked if we were thinking about settling down. I told them we weren't." there wasn't 'at least for now' attached which made her feel safer, more connected. "I told her that we don't need to be married to have kids if she was worried about that. That we didn't need to be connected forever through rings." He finished and she nodded. He understood her so well. Even when they butted heads during work. All of it just made her feel safe. Made the silly little butterflies that often came alive burst through the room. She was so used to silently walking alone back to the car. With him though — he sang her favorite songs with her and held her hand. She felt like the luckiest alive. 

These memories connected to her like core memories. Representing joy, fear, anger, disgust and ...sadness. Sadness the most bitter of them all seemingly. Some feelings you just never seem to grow over. Even when you try to push them back. As you get older you gain new feelings. Like love, envy, pride and … regret. Regret makes your spine turn cold with items very touch and the moments are the ones you look back at for years. 

* * *

_ They didn't have too many fights, both of them were pretty cool-headed when it came to these situations. She wore sneakers to this event with friends, knowing for a fact he liked her better when she didn't wear heels. Even if she liked herself better when she was in them. She wore a simple dress, knowing he often didn't know what to do when she wore her vibrant outfits and these kinds of things. They had been together three years and the entire time someone would assume it felt like heaven, it wasn't though.  _

_ She tried to give signs she was unhappy in this relationship. He wasn't abusive, had not been in the slightest. In fact he was always the nicest. He was respectful to her friends. He made her laugh, but she knew he wanted to get married. Have kids, she knew she couldn't provide those kinds of things. She didn't want to bring kids into the world she knew all too well. His family adored her and she adored him. And she wished more than anything he was able to read the signs. That he was able to notice the things he gave off. Or she wished she had been a little more honest with herself.  _

_ She didn't know he was going to propose that night, at his parents house with the fireplace in the background. She wasn't going to break up with him that weekend but the way things were going she knew she would soon. His sisters were nice as one of them popped open a bottle of some fizzy drink, some of his childhood friends rejoicing in the moment. His mom and dad were telling stories of him when he was on the baseball team, as he told them about her and the future the two would share. She was told of his past when he thought the future was her. There was dancing in the family room, family in gorgeous dresses and bright suits. The hometown skeptic looked at her and hummed a note of approval. And the next thing she knew he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to the room. _

_ She wished she had broken things off a little earlier, to save them both from this. “So Pen, what do you say? Will you marry me?” he asked her and it was as if things had suddenly turned cold. Her body tensed as she looked at him, her mouth felt dry and she didn't know what to say. It took her a moment before she looked at him and the immediate reaction she had was to turn the other direction and look at him.  _

_ “We’ll talk about this later… okay?” she offered. She had never been big on liking the big proposals in the movies. Never thought they were as insanely romantic as everyone else seemed to think. Maybe it was due to her own distaste of the entire situation. The family and friends were all silent as they waited for what was to happen. He acted as if it was okay. They acted like everything was okay during that weekend, but when they got back to the apartment and the door was closed thats when the conversation truly started. He looked at her, in a frenzy. _

_ “What did i do?” he asked _

_ “What do you mean?” she would reply with a raise of the brow. She tried to keep it calm, even though she knew a confrontation was happening.  _

_ “You left me out there standing!” his voice raised and they looked at each other. How would she express every single thought that was racing through her head. Her worries about not being able to live up to all of his expectations. The person he wanted her to be. And how anything to do with her ultimately ended with crashing and burning in its entirety. They were meant to fall apart and not come back together in any way. “I can't read your mind.” he commented and she sighed. Taking a deep breath before she did reply. “you  _ **_NEVER_ ** _ learned how to read my mind. And I didn't expect you to. ” she commented as she looked to the floor. she would be saying a lot of things she regretted.  _

_ “I can't marry you. I can't marry.” she finally stated. Her breath felt shaky and sounding scared. “I thought I told you.” she swore he did. They had this conversation before and he acted like he understood it and that it didn't bother him. Was she wrong?  _

_ “I thought you changed your mind.” _

_ “Did I give you signs that I changed it?” _

_ “No. but i thought you were happy.” _

_ There was a moment of tense air that sat between them, a pause and she sighed. She had to tell him. Had to let him know. There was the sound of Christmas music from the apartment complex’s lobby and she cursed because how dare they deck the halls that they once walked through with bags in hand and bright joy brimming from every moment of pure bliss.  _

_ She had to say it though. Before she gave him any sign of false hope. He had been the person Derek Morgan had heard about. The person Emily Prentiss threatened. The person that had JJ bring over ice cream and every sad movie she could find on a $5 rack at Walmart. She would be sitting silently alone in the car again, and she had nobody but herself to blame.  _

_ “John, I haven't been happy in a long time…” she finally said as she looked at him. His eyes froze a glossy look of pain shining over his features. A bright sunny disposition turned absolutely wintery cold. A person once so filled with life turned to stone. Something so strong turned fragile and she thought this was her fault.  _

_ “You never gave me a warning sign.” she heard him say and she looked up at him. Heated tears flushed through her eyes.  _

_ “I gave you so many signs!” she exclaimed and everything went still. There was no way for her to apologize as she watched him pack his things from the apartment. He packed one bag and then another. A picture of her being tossed in the bag too. She watched as he printed out a train ticket from a quick service website. He took the midnight train she noted. Maybe it was so he could sit silently with his thoughts. Not letting anyone bother him. He had never liked the crowds because big crowds or silent sleepers in the area around him. He was never sure which was truly worse. _

_ “Let me drive you to the train station.” she offered and he took it with a nod. Their conversations usually bright and filled to the brim with joy were cold and uncharacteristically vacant. He looked at her from the passenger seat of the Chevy they shared that he told her to keep to get to and from work. She needed it more than he did. Especially since he was going to live with his parents for the next little while.  _

_ “They thought you would have been a lovely bride.” he told her as he was getting out of the car. And she nodded.  _

_ “I know. But you'll find the real thing instead.”  _

_ She never was ready, never thought she would be ready so she watched him go.  _

* * *

Most of her regrets were of that night. Not that she missed him or that relationship. His sister and she had stayed in close contact and he was married. They had a lovely ceremony. The kind that he always wanted. And he was married to someone who would patch up the tapestry that she shared apart. Someone who wouldn't do the unthinkable of … letting him go.

He had someone now though.

And as did she. 

They were both right where they needed to be.

She tied the flannel robe tighter around her body, a cup of tea in one of her hands as she looked at the world outside. There was something about the lights that you could see from here that sought to bring calm to a storming mind. She sat for a second as she heard the bedroom door creak open, her boyfriend walking over to her, wrapping an arm around her frame as she stood there. 

“What are you doing up so early chica?’ he asked her, the nickname gracing its way across his tongue. She offered a shrug as she looked back at him.

“I’m Just thinking Luke, that's all.” she replied and he offered a tired nod. There was something about the boyish grin that often appeared on his face that made her feel at home, even when he mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. 

“Want me to head back to bed without you?” he asked and she shook her head. “I’ll be ready to go back in a moment. I just wanted to stand here for one more second,” she said as she looked back at him. She wanted to tell Luke about all of her worries, about her fears and concerns when it came to the world around her. She wanted to tell him about who she was before they met. She had a feeling he would understand. But right now she didn't want to worry him with all of her champagne problems. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series based on Folklore & Evermore by Taylor Swift. I've wanted to mess around with the lyrics and stuff for a little bit and with this put my own spin on some of the characters. These will be a variety of ships through a small variety of fandoms. This one was inspired by a new way of storytelling that I fell in love with and can't wait to build more on. I'm excited for you all to read more. Find me on Tumblr @gleaminginthespotlight and send in requests :) super excited. <3


End file.
